One Fundamental often Ignored Truth About Rejection and Stress In Women.
In spite of the many causes of stress in women, in my view, rejection supersedes all other stressors by a huge margin, hence the focus. Most women know what I am talking about here.
While I have been rejected more times than I care to remember, I must admit that there are certain rejections that hit you just too hard.
It could be that job that seemed to be a perfect fit, a job you desperately wanted, only for it to be given to someone who seemed less competent. Or that dude you had been eyeing for a while, even secretly spent a little fortune on yourself to impress him with your sexy looks and culinary abilities, only to discover that he married off Jane, a chic no man in a sane mind would give a second glance.
Maybe you have been married for a long time and think that you have a steaming marriage, only for your partner to come one day and tell you that they've found new love. Or it could be your own child, a child you painfully carried for 9 months, went through painful child labor that almost claimed your life, only for this human being to turn around and tell you that they did not ask to be born and that they are better off without you….Should I even go on?
I am sure I do not have enough space to exhaust the many causes of stress in women. You can fill the dots with your own scenario.
Common Strategies For Managing Stress In Women
How can women manage this stress that causes emotional pain which makes them feel numb, unworthy and literally frozen causing their ventricles fail to even pump blood? That stress that makes the holiest person fail to get energy to lift their eyes to the heavens.
Some women shove the pain in some pocket in their hearts, hoping that it would magically disappear only for it to resurface as a fire-spitting dragon ready to consume their lives. No wonder, “women and depression” has become a common search term these days because this rejection-induced stress in women is not easy to manage.
Many writers and therapists have focused on various ways on how women can deal with stress such as:
- Doing nothing
- Talking to friends
- Isolation and personal space
- Laughing loudly with sarcasm
- Trying out a hobby like dancing, watching movies
Eating whatever you crave for and so on.
These strategies, albeit useful, distract women for a while only to wake up to the same situation. Moreover, some of these coping mechanisms can be detrimental to their health in the wrong run.
You see, there are different seasons and all seasons have a purpose. Even better, no season lasts forever (except in Uganda where we have an amazing weather all year round♥). The best way to overcome rejection related stress in women is to help them find something positive to celebrate in their muggy situation and to know that things always happen for their own good. Real women who have a purpose in life hold this fundamental truth dearly, that:
At times, REJECTION could be the ONLY way to achieve serenity. Often times, bad unexpected events are catalysts that propel us forward to finding our shining star, the REAL US!
While ordinary women live in the shadows of rejection; cursing God, their hearts filled with anger and hate for those who rejected them years and years back, real women pick themselves up. They look for the opportunity to cease in such a bad situation and then, they gracefully move on.
A Great Lesson About Rejection, Stress And Women
I cannot put it better than what Dr. Steve Maraboli once said:
“As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being redirected to something better”.
Over the years, I have come to realize that rejection is not bad after all. While it is never an easy pin to swallow (oh ya, it can be bitter, distressing, dehumanizing, and brutally painful), quite often it is the rebirth of a new you. An AWESOME you.
I am not blind to the fact that it is inevitable for rejection to cause stress in women. You need time to deal with those initial emotions denial, hate, grief, betrayal and wanting to punch someone in the face. Rather, my argument here is that the real litmus test between real women and ordinary women comes back to the course they steer thereafter.
My fellow woman, what are you facing today? Have you been rejected over and over again and you are at the verge of hanging yourself on your hair? Do not despair. You've got to awaken the power in you. You can turn your lemons into lemonade! Stress in women is inevitable. However, it all comes back to what you learn from that stressful situation.
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